Happiness is no where else. It is where you stand.

Pass on the baton

Humility comes from the awareness that we are building on top of the great work done by those who came before us.

The work will continue to advance long after we are gone. As Newton said we are “standing on the shoulders of giants”. It’s imperative we do our part to the best of our abilities.

Run as fast as you can and then pass on the baton. The next runner is waiting.

Humility also comes from knowing that we are just one of nature’s many expressions of complex survival machines. As much as we would like to think that we are the best expression, it’s quite possible we might be the worst of them all.

One might ask - ‘why bother with all this philosophy?’. It’s easy to conclude with our limited knowledge of our existence that there is no meaning to life. Life will not be fun then. Finding meaning makes life worth living and joyful. So, it’s a life hack 😊.

Time to move the needle  

It’s very important to see if we are engaged in action or gossip and in what proportions. If we are indulged in too much gossip, it’s time for some introspection.

Action, sustained action, over days, weeks, years takes us in the direction we want to go and moves the needle, bit by bit. With gossip we are spending time debating/discussing if someone else’s needle moved and by how much.

The below quote by Theodore Roosevelt says it better -

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I have nothing to add. Time to move the needle.
..

आपण कृती किंवा गप्पांमध्ये आणि कोणत्या प्रमाणात गुंतलेले आहोत हे पाहणे खूप महत्वाचे आहे. जर आपण खूप गप्पांमध्ये गुंतलो असाल तर काही आत्मनिरीक्षण करण्याची वेळ आली आहे.

कृती, सातत्यपूर्ण कृती, दिवस, आठवडे, वर्षे आपल्याला ज्या दिशेने जायचे आहे त्या दिशेने घेऊन जाते आणि सुई थोडी-थोडी पुढे सरकते. गप्पांमध्‍ये आपण इतर कोणाची सुई हलली का आणि किती यावर चर्चा करण्यात वेळ घालवतो.

सुई हलवण्याची वेळ आली आहे.

Go with the intention of embracing the world! 

My 94-year-old Iranian neighbor lived in a country that had a language and culture that was different than hers. And yet she was out every evening walking in the community greeting the neighbors and embracing the kids playing on the streets. She would hug the kids, say some sweet things to them in Farsi and I never asked her what they meant. She passed away a month ago. She spent her last days surrounded by family and friends.

While sitting at her memorial service this Sunday I reflected at her life and the time we got to spend with her. There are 3 things I learnt from her that I would like to share -

1. Don’t let religion, language or culture be a barrier to what you want to do in your community.
2. When you go out with the intention of embracing the world, some part of the world will embrace you back.
3. Take care of family. That’s the first step to build a better world.

Na hodare hoga bahudu

 I often wonder what makes us who we are. School education aside it is the stories we listen to since childhood that define our values and build our character.

Stories - big, small, and diverse.

One such story was narrated to me by my great grandma who hailed from the North Karnataka region. She was very well read for her times. It has been more than 30 years since I heard it. Below is just how I remember it.

Kanaka Dasa was a Krishna devotee and saint who lived in the Karnataka region during the 16th century Vijayanagar empire times. In his early years he left home in search of truth and knowledge. He traveled widely and met a lot of gurus. He asked all of them the same question - "Can I go to heaven and how?"

Not satisfied with the responses he got from the gurus he continued the search until one day he heard about a great teacher in the town of Udupi. He went to Udupi and posed the same question to the great guru - "Can I go to heaven and how?"

The great guru very calmly replied in Kannada - "Na hodare hoga bahudu" (Rough translation - "If I go, could go") Confused and angry Kanaka Dasa asked the great guru - "Why are you talking about yourself when I am the one who wants to go?"

The guru repeats the same line again - "Na hodare hoga bahudu"

Unhappy with the guru's response Kanaka Dasa departs the guru's ashram and continues his travel. He keeps pondering over the great guru's line until one day it becomes clear to him.

"Na" hodare hoga bahudu. If "I" goes could go

Stories build us bit by bit. Grateful for all the stories that came my way. The oral tradition is here to stay. I told this story to my kids today and somewhere in heaven Kanaka Dasa must be smiling.

On kindness, friendship & morals

We don’t always remember how friendships start. This one was as special as they can get.

While I was recovering from a reprimand from my 4th class Moral Science teacher for not having the textbook, a kind voice approached me - “I have an extra one at home. You can borrow from me if that’s ok with you”. I muttered a “ok” reluctantly while wondering how some people have 2 copies while I could not afford to have 1. And that’s how it all started, with a simple act of kindness. The friendship grew stronger over the years, through school, college and beyond.

I think about him quite a bit - sometimes with a smile, other times with moist eyes. Small, small things - the bowling run up while playing cricket, the steel bracelet in his hands, the “white scooty” commutes all around town, the Salman Khan poster on his room door, the dosas his mom would feed us with love every single time, his dad was the coolest one I knew, his shouts of “Rohnya Rohnya” while calling for playtime, discussions on relationships and pretty much everything there was to talk about.

We went our separate paths in pursuit of career and I did meet him later in life when I was going through some interesting tough times. He very calmly told me - “I know you from a very long time now and I trust you with your instincts and decisions”. It was reassuring coming from a longtime friend. As it turned out that was our last meeting and those were his last words to me.

While I sometimes wonder about what could have been, I will always cherish it for what it was and what it is.

Going back to how friendships start - they start with kindness and they are sustained by providing each other moral support in the hardest of times. Islands of support through this ocean called life. Everything else just withers away. What is left is precious. In hindsight not having that textbook was one of the best things that happened to me. Sometimes all you need is to not have something.

Now every time my kids ask me - “Who is your best friend?”, I close my eyes and live through these moments all over again.

It took me a few years to eventually pen this. Dedicated to a very special friend who left too soon.