Wanted - Indian politician

A large secular political party in India is actively looking out for new hires. An eligible candidate should have at least one year experience in the following –

•  Should be able to identify all mistakes of the opposition and condemn them aggressively. 
• Should be able to take responsibility and resign when you get caught committing the same mistakes.
• Should be able to collaborate with the corporate world for mutual benefits.
• Should be able to set up a 3 man joint enquiry committee when no other option works.
•  Should be able to multi-task effectively between attending inauguration ceremonies, award ceremonies, wedding receptions and inspecting flood affected areas from helicopters.
•  Hobbies should include either of – building elephant statues, attending cricket matches, social service or public speaking on democracy and secularism. 
• Any kind of educational or criminal background is a plus.
• Actors, children of freedom fighters/politicians and retired underworld dons will be preferred.

Discrimination will be made only on caste, region, language, sex and bank balance. Otherwise, we are an equal opportunity provider.